


An angel worth falling for

by Moloko_and_cookies



Series: Ineffable [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fallen Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Feels, Love, M/M, Memory Loss, Romance, Tragic Romance, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 08:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19720108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moloko_and_cookies/pseuds/Moloko_and_cookies
Summary: Aziraphale thinks that he met Crowley in Eden until a very vivid dream reveals a memory of an important moment of his life, right before Crowley's fall.





	An angel worth falling for

Humans have a certain tendency to see immortal beings as brooding lost souls. Aziraphale had learned that after many years of reading books and watching films about supernatural creatures. It was strange, the angel thought, how they craved eternal youth while, at the same time, the idea terrified them. They thought that, in no more than two or three centuries — an amount of time that was an eternity for them, but the blink of an eye in an angel’s life— they would not be able to enjoy life because they would be tired and bored of everything and they would have lost everything and everyone they used to love. Of course, that happened because most humans did not know that actual immortal entities live among them. They would be surprised to know Aziraphale, someone who had been present in the moment of the creation of the Earth, still found pleasure in little things, like books and food. After six thousand years, Aziraphale was still curious about so many things; he still had hope for the future and believed in love.

All these thoughts wandered around Aziraphale’s mind while he lied on the bed, staring at Crowley, who slept quietly by his side. He thought about how, despite the fact that the Apocalypse had almost happened a few months before, no one would have noticed anything because almost everything was the same as it had been the day before. They had forgotten about the fire, the tornadoes, the death… Lucky humans, they would forget all that suffering, pain, desolation. Aziraphale, on the contrary, remembered everything, including the most ominous periods of human history, but also the happiest moments in his long life. He held with special fondness the memories of his encounters with Crowley throughout history until the moment they got together, short after the Apocalypse.

As he followed the design of Crowley’s snake tattoo with his finger, Aziraphale wondered how much the demon remembered about his life as an angel, before the fall. Aziraphale remembered seeing all those angels falling from Heaven to a pool of sulphur and fire. It was extremely difficult to forget their wings catching fire, the way so many of them cried in pain. Crowley and Aziraphale didn’t know each other before the fall, but the angel couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea of his friend and lover enduring that sort of pain.

There was something singular about Crowley, Aziraphale thought as he drifted into sleep and his thoughts became less coherent. It was something about his lips that made them irresistible, almost addictive, to Aziraphale. Kissing them felt so good. Aziraphale had imagined how it would be to kiss Crowley thousands of time before their first kiss actually happened; however, it was a new and familiar sensation at the same time, as if he had always known them actually. It felt like a memory lost a long time ago.

“I don’t want to leave you.” Aziraphale heard Crowley whispering close to his ear. His voice sounded shaky and weird, and not completely his. Then, he whimpered. Aziraphale was confused: why was Crowley crying? It was just a normal day and then… What had happened to him? “Will you forgive me, my love? I love you…” Crowley continued under his breath as he held Aziraphale tight against his chest. Before the angel could even ask why he had to forgive him, Crowley caught his lips in a hurried but passionate kiss. Aziraphale couldn’t help but notice the salty taste of tears on Crowley’s mouth and he felt his heart breaking, though still ignoring the reason why all that was happening.

The kiss ended abruptly and Aziraphale realised that something pulled Crowley away from him. Crowley’s eyes, two ponds of pure gold, seemed to change behind the tears that filled them as he was taken away from Aziraphale. The angel tried to get closer again, hold him, but something stopped him from moving. Trying to scream was useless too. And the worst part; for some reason he couldn’t comprehend his vision was becoming blurry and he couldn’t see Crowley clearly.

“It doesn’t matter what happens to me, or to us.” The whispers turned into screams now that he was far away from Aziraphale, who had started to moan too, while he tried to catch the edge of Crowley’s tunic with the tips of his fingers. “I will always be by your side. I will always take care of you, my love… my angel!” The last thing Aziraphale saw before Crowley disappeared, devoured by the darkness, was his snake eyes. Then everything went black and Aziraphale’s eyes closed.

Immediately, Aziraphale opened his eyes and sat on the bed with a gasp. He looked down only to see Crowley still by his side, his arm curled around the angel’s waist, just like when he had fallen asleep. His eyes opened and looked up at Aziraphale, questioning and worried. After yawning loudly, the demon sat up and leaned his head on Aziraphale’s shoulder at the same time he tightened his embrace.

“I didn’t know angels had nightmares.” His voice sounded so different from the one in the dream. This was the deep, sleepy, velvety voice that Aziraphale loved hearing every morning. “Why are you staring at me like that, angel?” Crowley asked before kissing Aziraphale’s shoulder.

Aziraphale didn’t answer immediately, since he was still trying to collect himself after the dream. Finally, he whispered a name; an angel’s name. And this time, it was his voice that seemed weak and tearful. Crowley winced, his mouth agape. He had not been called by that name in ages. Hearing it again in Aziraphale’s voice was extremely painful, but healing at the same time. It made him relive painful moments but it also made him accept his past as a part of him. His past and his present, angel and demon, were at peace. Crowley remembered his days as an angel fondly, but he did not miss them because he also liked being a demon and, especially, not having to follow strict rules.

“It wasn’t a nightmare, but a memory.” The angel caressed his cheek and smiled with gratitude. “I remembered, my dear.” Although teary, Aziraphale’s voice conveyed a certain kind of joy and relief. Then he whispered Crowley’s angelic name again, savouring every sound and all the memories attached to it. “You kept your promise.” There was so much emotion in Aziraphale’s voice when he said that, like he was actually moved by Crowley’s act of love. The demon nodded and kissed his forehead. “There’s only one thing that I don’t understand, my dear… Why didn’t I remember? And what about you, did you remember? It’s strange, because you were the only one I didn’t…”

Crowley sighed and looked down before answering. Words tried to come out of his mouth, but apparently he could not speak, so he finally nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me, my dear?” Aziraphale murmured quietly while he made Crowley lift his head again.

“I guess they made you forget for a reason. They could have made you fall for being so close to me… but they didn’t. I believe they gave you a second opportunity, or decided to just forgive you. Anyway, I never wanted you to turn into a demon; you were so pure and beautiful… I was afraid that, if I made you remember me, they would punish you and I didn’t want to know what the punishment for an angel who loves a demon is, nor did I want to be punished again. So I just spent sixty centuries hanging secretly around you, pretending to be an ally or a friend, but nothing more than that. It was dangerous, but I had to keep my promise and… I missed you so much.” Crowley’s voice cracked at the end, something that had only happened a few times in his life. Aziraphale listened in silence, his hands cupping Crowley’s face and his eyes fixed on the demon, whose expression reflected that he was worried, maybe because he feared that Aziraphale would be angry at him for keeping such an important secret. “I’m sorry, angel. I never intended to hide anything from you. What I don’t understand is why you remember all of this now. What has made you recover your memory?”

“I don’t understand either, my dear. I think it was… being with you.” A sweet, happy smile grew on Aziraphale’s face. Crowley couldn’t help but kiss him passionately and push him against the bed again. “All of this… When we are together, it feels… just as good as it did back then. I don’t think there’s any difference between you being an angel or a demon. But, you aren’t a demon like the others anyway, so…” Aziraphale shrugged, while he played with Crowley’s hair. They stayed in that position for a few minutes, both of them gazing through the window at the starry sky. “I want you to know another thing, my love. That day you asked me if I would ever forgive you.” Crowley sighed, reliving the heart-breaking moment when he thought that Aziraphale would hate him for falling and betraying him. “Well… besides how obvious it is that I still love you… There’s no need for me to forgive you, my dear. I never thought that what you did was wrong.”

Crowley kissed the angel’s chest as an answer. “I’m glad you understand me, angel.” He said, looking up with a sincere smile. “Maybe it’s that little demonic side of yours that is always willing to break the rules.” He added with a sultry deep voice, leaving a trail of kisses and soft bites on Aziraphale’s neck that made the angel moan softly and squirm under Crowley’s body. “I made a star for you, do you remember that?” He asked after kissing the angel’s lips with passion.

Aziraphale closed his eyes for a second and frowned, trying to recall that moment. There it was: Crowley, still an angel, holding what looked like a ball of pure light. It had the same colour of his eyes. He had put it on Aziraphale’s hands briefly. He had whispered something like “It’s my favourite one, the most beautiful I’ve made, and I want it to be for you.” After that, they had put it in the sky together.

“Of course I do remember that.” Aziraphale said, turning again towards the window with a big and bright smile on his face. “It must be over there.” He pointed at a spot in the distance. Crowley followed his finger and nodded, his eyes almost glowing with happiness.

“That’s right, my angel. That’s yours.” Crowley purred with tenderness and desire as he brushed Aziraphale’s lips with his fingertips before kissing them. “That star is yours and will be for as long as I am yours too.”


End file.
